A few funny Scottish tweets I came across.
"Just spotted a cat on someone's porch, miaowing to be let in.
Without thinking, I walked up to the door, rang the doorbell, nodded to the cat and left.
It was only I rounded the corner I realized what I'd done as I heard the owner shouting F__K ME SARAH THE CAT JUST RANG THE DOORBELL."
"The population of Scotland is around 5.25mil and there are 600mil cats in the world so if every cat decided to invade Scotland each Scot would have to fight off around 114 cats each and I really don't think they could pull it off."
"Arguing with Carly over how to cook steaks, I says "aye well ive watched plenty of videos on youtube". Her reply, "aye well youve watched hunners of porn tae n you canny do that right either."
Tweet: "I used to quite like Nutella until I saw the picture of it split up into its constinuent parts...
Responding comment: "If you did the same thing to your mum she wouldn't look great either."