Tim, if you aren't able to hear when a system is reproducing well, as compared to not doing so, then nothing I will say can help you. I don't measure with instruments whether a system is working competently or not, I listen to it - if it is competent I don't need to do anything more, if it's not then I start troubleshooting, for which I rely mainly on a combination of experience, visual inspection and recovered technical data from the net to proceed with. This may not compute with you, but I've found it very effective, over the years.
As an example, if I were to hear to your system on a chance visit, the only thing I would be interested in is listening for what's wrong with it - this is the starting point, every time. If one is not able to put one's ego to one side, and acknowledge that the rig may not be "perfect", then you have the proverbial snow flake's chance in hell of getting anywhere fast ...