My loudness preference depends mostly on the genre and given song, and whether I am doing serious listening or just for background. But coming from the music of the 60s and 70s and having worked in recording studios that recorded and mixed commonly at 100dB+average SPLs, I tend to listen around that level for certain rock tracks when I am alone and not disturbing anyone. But I only do that for short periods and not always throughout a whole song. For example with Stairway to Heaven I only really crank it up at the climactic ending that may be 110dB+ average SPL. But then I back off for a while with much quieter music to let the ears recover before another onslaught.
By the way, I hope everyone here knows that the commonly referenced official recommendation of 85dBA is based on a constant SPL for 8 hours because it is a workplace noise exposure requirement. I rarely listen to music seriously for more than around 1.5-2 hours and then at greatly varying levels. Applying the 3dB increase for each halving of exposure time gives a 106dB SPL limit for 3.75 minute period or about one song at a constant level. Now some songs don't have much dynamic range so they may be relatively close to a constant SPL so even one song played at 106dB SPL can be close to the recommended daily exposure limit. But I have applied my rule of letting my ears rest for a while before subjecting them to more high-level music and my hearing threshold has only changed about as much as my age-related loss accounts for. I know this because I had my hearing tested after my last job before I retired, so I can say that the method works as I have listened to many songs at high levels in my life.
Finally, I would like to offer that I think that for the best enjoyment and accuracy of music, it ought to be played at an SPL approximately the same as what it was recorded and mixed at. While that is impossible to know, a reasonable guess is probably not far off.